I DIDN'T DO IT!

I didn't do it.

I know it isn't MY birthday, but I still get what I want from the packages.....

Yay! My woman's back!

I must have put the fear of Aslan in Bibs the other day because my Woman showed back up on saturday afternoon. She's not feeling too good though. I guess captivity will do that to a person. The Man said something about storks and camp not mixing well.

My woman is still gone, and that rat Bibs has got to be behind it. He's been prancing around the porch like he owns the place. Well I've got news for you buster, I OWN THE PLACE!

Somehow my picture got posted up on He-Man.org in the pets thread. I'll have you know that I'm nobodys pet. I'm the owner and if I find out who put those pictures up I'm going to sue.

The woman hasn't been around much lately. She went outside yesterday morning, and hasn't come back in yet. I'm wondering if it has somethign to do with the man losing his mane. I keep checking all of the windows but I don't see her anywhere out there. How far away could she have gotten?
Good thing the Man's still here. That means I still get fed.

Okay. Mabey I was wrong. Mabey Buffalo do have wings because those things the man had sure didn't taste like Chicken! And what is it that makes the Buffalo so hot? Mabey it's becasue they live out west. But OY VEY! The man says I was jumping around and smoke was coming out of my ears (my ears if you're LUCKY!). I don't remember any of this; possibly due to the SEARING PAIN IN MY MOUTH!



Now I want more.

When I want pettin's I will climb up on you lap and let you know. Do not just grab me off of the window sill where I am conducting serious research for my plans to conquer the world. If you want something to just hug at random, that's what you have teddy bears for.

I was talking to yellow next door. He's outside a lot and he says it's getting really hot. He thinks that's why my man lost his mane, after all we shed, so why shouldn't he?

The thing is, It's been summer before and the man has never shed before. I still think it's all part of a conspiracy. Especially since I saw Bibs skulking around yesterday.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

HOLY CARP!

The man lost his mane! I mean, there's a little left, but most of it's gone! IT used to be longer than the woman's but not anymore...his wiskers are gone too! How on earth is he going to tell if his head can fit through a doorway or hallway or really really really tight space?

It's not only gone, it's changed color! It's all streaky now....

Mabey someone replaced my person with someone else who SMELLS EXACTLY LIKE HIM.

Holy carp! I'm involved in a CONSPIRICY!

More rumbling in the sky. Pieces of sky falling down. Why are you laughing at me? You should be hiding under this table too!

Abandoned!

My people went outside on Saturday morning and didn't come back in until Sunday afternoon! There's got to be a law against that kind of neglect. Sure I had enough food but that's not the point. What if they never came back? That bowl isn't going to refill itself! And what can there possible be out side that so interesting it keeps them busy for and entire frickkin' day and a half?

Note to self; Start biting ankles when they go in or out the door. That'll teach them to leave.

Okay, for starters; I googled the word "Buffalo". I'm pretty sure these things don't have wings. That means the man was lying to me when said those were buffalo wings. They smelled like chicken wings. Well, they smelled a little diffrent from chicken, mabey like a drunk chicken. Anyhow, it was still chicken, and he wouldn't give me any! All he would say is that "These arn't kitty food." and "You wouldn't like this." I know what I like. I LIKE CHICKEN!
Next time, some of those better fall in my bowl or there's gonna be trouble.
Right here in river city.
That starts with "t" which rhymes with "b" which spells BITING!

I didn't see Bibs again today, but I don't trust that Gray kitty that's been wandering around. There's a yellow cat in the yard next door but he stays ove in his own yard and dosen't try to invade mine. Yellow says he wants to be friends. I told him if he's nice, I might give him a regency once I take over the world.

I'll show him!

I was just looking out the windows, minding my own business, and what do you think I saw?



He says his name is Bibs and he just wants to be friends. All I have to say is he better get off of my porch!

It's hot. That's the bad thing about summer. The good thing is that the windows are always open, and the radiator makes them easy to get to.

Pepper, the dog next door came over and was trying to talk. I ignored him. I really don't have any patience for a hyperactive, smelly dog with poor bladder control. Honestly, why in Aslan's name would anyone want to be a dog?

But there are cats out there too. One in paticular who thinks he's hot stuff. Well, he better stay away from my windows, or I'll give him a nice close up of my clawless paws!

God's fusebox

I think God blew a fuse this weekend. The sky was flickering, and sparking and thenthe long beams of light! The only time I have seen stuff like this is when the man plugged one too many things into his computer. Lots of sparks and bad words then. I didn't hear God using any bad words, but he sure had to look for a long time before he found his fusebox.

It was cool. And I think it should happen more often.

I hope that stork gets here soon. It would be a nice change from that slop they feed me. They say it has tuna in it, but I've had tuna before and that isn't it. You know what the worst thing about cat food is? It smells like cat food! The man is talking about buffalo wings tonight. I've never had buffalo before. I'll have to persuade them to let me try some.

Waiting for the big bird

Everyone around here keeps talking about a stork coming by. I've seen pictures of storks and I think it's a good idea to have one come over. That much meat could feed me for week....possibly more if I don't share.

What are YOU looking at?

My name is Moses, I have two people, three fish and a house. No matter what they say, it's MY house and I just let them live in it. They fix my food, they clean my litterbox, they do all the labor-related tasks in the house. It's kind of like having a butler but better, because I don't have to pay them.